the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
operation harelip BJ is a go
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
