Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
