Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've blown a few things in my day
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't deserve a penis
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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