i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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