There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
