Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
