Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
