This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
