Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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