..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
