Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
