hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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