did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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