we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
