Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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