I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
