oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
