I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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