ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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