I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What a dumb baby whore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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