even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
