Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize