Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
two words: eviction party
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
