My hand turned me down
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
