sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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