I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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