you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
