Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
