The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
