You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
