you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
