I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
