Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
