or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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