Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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