sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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