I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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