the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
