Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
