You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
