I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
