Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
