Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
