I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
