My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
