All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
