Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
