dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
