you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
