I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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