Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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