Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize