Buhtt sex?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
