turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize