i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
