I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
