I wannas sexs uuuuu
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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