Fuck appropriateness.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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