she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
