At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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