i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
