Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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