just tell him i said nine months
4 words: hood of his car
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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