just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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