My brain says no but my pants say off.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
