Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think a kid would responsible me up
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
