I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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