It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
