Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize